Saturday, 24 October 2015

Syzygy (Soul-Zygosity)

Dear readers,  Here is a little Syzygy (Soul-Zygosity) sketch I've just finished… I wanted to make a visual representation of my Creative Twins within, which I spoke about in last weeks blog post (which you can read here.)  It was a big realisation, that thing that will open up a new door for me. 

Blessings of mystery and Sacred twin-ship,
Catherine Athena xo

Syzygy ~ Ink on Paper © Cat Athena Louise 2015

Friday, 16 October 2015

I should have listened… (Honoring the inner voice)

Hi my art-friends & readers,

I'm currently taking part in a Creative Accountability Group being hosted by the wonderful Stacy De La Rosa and with the daily checking in, a bit like noting small diary entries I'm getting to see some things changing in me already and some unexpected breakthroughs too.  And I'm all about the breakthroughs!

I'm finding that the deliberate act of showing up and giving yourself the gift of time to do your creative 'thing' daily somehow lifts the lid on the subconscious and allows other dreams and whispers to bubble up to the surface… wanting to voice their presence and be heard.   A bit of a realisation (quite a big one actually) has suddenly happened for me overnight without any prompting other than just the showing up for myself and my creative process…  

And BOOM! I get this moment of absolute crystal clarity around a creative dilemma I've had going on, haunting, taunting and troubling me for several years.

You see I have these two vastly divergent styles. It's like I have two completely different artists within me both seeking outward expression and I've been struggling to reconcile these two halves of my artist self.

As an example, it's like my Natal Sun and Moon signs being played out, for want of a better way to explain my two distinct artistic "personalities".  There is the cautious, more conservative Capricorn me who loves clean lines and the refined application  -and gets a thrill from-  a finely detailed watercolor approach, clear, structured and perfectly clean (a no-mess illustrative style 'me')

……..and then there is the wild, easily-bored, rebellious Sagittarius me who wants to splash acrylic, ink and gesso all over the place, charge across it with scratchy charcoal lines, cover it in beeswax and cut into it, in wild exuberant abandon, messy and deplorably badass delicious. A style I have always admired in others, but due to feeling conflicted, had never been able to allow myself to surrender into and have for myself too.

I love them both equally ~ and somehow between these two, I have felt myself become trapped. Frozen in amber. Unable to move because of my own false perception of how other people might respond to these two faces of me.

How did this happen… How did I get so stuck between these two inner artists?  It sounds really silly… but… well it's all down to this unhelpful dialogue, a lie that runs around in my mind perpetually that I have believed to be true, and it goes like this… You have to stick to one thing. Your style needs to be recognisable.  You cannot have these TWO vastly different approaches (at least not publicly)

I even allowed myself to listen to Benny's words in the movie "Basquiat"...
I first saw this movie back in 1997 and somehow I have taken on board what Benny says to Jean-Michel about creating a name (fame) for himself as an artist… (just before he met Andy Warhol and became infamously well-known)

At 2minutes 20 seconds in you'll hear him say: "Then you've got to do your work all the time…. But I'm talking about the same kind of work, the same style so people can recognise it and don't get confused, you know?   Once you're famous, airborne, you've got to keep doing it the same way, even after it's boring, unless you want people to really get mad at you, which they will anyway…"

But no… I don't think it has to be that way for me anymore. I'm going to erase that old file from my hard-drive! Well the bit about doing the work all the time is definitely true. 

However I CAN find a way to allow both halves of me to express themselves fully.  And I finally know how, I've finally figured out how I'm going to do that and I give myself full permission.  

I really should have listened to my own inner-voice all along, that whisper of disquiet that kept bringing this annoying little 'two-halves' thing to my attention in hope of finding some sort of resolution.  Digging a little deeper down I realise I truly can have it all, I really can… despite myself.

It's so healing to have these awakening realisations, they can change everything.

I feel an art journal and some dark messy charcoal coming on… 

Blessing of mystery, Catherine Athena xo

Friday, 9 October 2015

The Times They Are A Changing

Dear readers, 

I always find this time of year very wonderful…and powerful. There seems to be a magic charge and excitement tangible in the air, all kinds of possibilities are swirling around in the ethers, laced with a certain divinely-guided element of chaos and spookiness too.

I personally think it has much to do with Samhain coming up at the close of this month, and the sort of party-spirit revelry and mischief that comes with that, coupled with the hallowed-edge of mystery as the veils between the Worlds thin.  Our departed Ones and Ancestors draw in closer to the hearth fires that warm and gladden them and the food offerings we share in remembrance of those who hold us and guide us from the other side. 

Jack'O Lantern at Samhain ~ North Wales 2006 ~ Cat Athena Louise ©

Today I've really been feeling it. The mystery, the charge.  In the starry-skied heavens above Mercury has gone direct at last, and the vibes are distinctly similar to that of a New Moon energy flowing in and just generally lifting the mood and making things easier. The new Moon is now just days away too.

On the flip side, there is so much change going on in my personal world, it is almost unparalleled. Of course it is happening on a wider level too, being played out all too clearly on the World stage, globally for us all to witness.  There is a lot of fear and confusion, turbulence and uncertainty resulting from that for so many people right now.  

My astrologer friends tell me that these remarkable 'realignments' that are taking place collectively for humanity, this awakening, this bringing in of the New Paradigm that is being birthed on our planet, is going to be unfolding for some time yet… It started in earnest in 2008 and will continue through to 2024, as the Divine Feminine and Masculine come back into eqilibrilum and balance.  This patriarchal time of control and systems that do not nurture the planet or ourselves in a sustainable way, are dying away.  The transition is underway to return harmony and co-operation both inwardly and outwardly. A huge healing is taking place.  

Anyone who has ever done a juice cleanse will know that things often feel so much worse before they get clearer (better). You just can't clean a house without stirring up some dust!     

As this unfolds I draw inward. More and more I am deepening into a full body-mind-spirit understanding that truly "no problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it." (thank you Albert Einstein)… 

If we really want change in the World, it has to come from within first….through loving and healing ourselves… actively engaging our shadows and wounding so that we are no longer projecting the pain and hurt into the mirror-world that manifests as if by magic outside of ourselves.  It starts with us… Never before has it been more important to truly do the inner Soul work on ourselves and "be the change we wish to see in the world." 

I write these words as a reminder for myself and for anyone with the courage to journey beyond the obvious.

Bright Blessings ~ Self Portrait ~Cat Athena Louise © 

May your October be filled with joy and Light,
Blessings of beauty, 
Catherine Athena xo